Pain strucks deep once again

I shun the sadness,
I shun the loneliness;
I shun being not having some hugs,
I shun feeling all this hurts;
I shun for no one cares,
I shun for not having kisses.

I feel ever not being loved,
I do not ever think being cared;
Caring for others is really hard,
I wonder how mother Teresa did;
My birthday was sad,
No one really cared;
No one I could depend,
Nothing much I did.

Look at the birds in the air,
They flew so freely,
Problems far,
Just being away.

It seems like I cared,
Too much for me I bared;
But they don’t seem to care,
Neither do I bother mine no more;
But the problem seemed heavy,
That could not carry.

Celebration of people’s birthday,
Having friends who come to greet them warmly;
I cry deep inside,
For none I have;
Mostly I would go to them,
All birthday wishes is all I receive from them.

Who am I going to rely to be with me?
Who cares for me?
Who would be there for me?
Who would seriously take time?

Parents all they say is studies,
Brothers seem the same as parents;
So does sisters,
Every time I say God cares.

The agony deep inside,
I can’t bare it no more;
I would love to seek my advice,
He is the only one that cares for me.

I do not like my voice,
Nor do I think I have a nice appearance;
If I were to leave this place,
I would not think anyone would call once.

I am seriously bored in life,
No one who to care;
No one to love,
Strive to survive;
What other purpose,
Is human made?
Yes to be a lighthouse,
Of God around thee;
But I still agree,
That it needs something to secure.

If there is someone,
That could release;
All this pain and sorrow,
Like the endless river flow;
I would appreciate them,
And love them.

Other then God,
I think I would not have stayed;
Because I am just a shadow,
Those follow;
That comes,
That supports;
When gone,
No one is there.

I hope I am wrong,
I hope I am really wrong;
Who really cares of my feeling?
God who is only one standing.

Is there someone else besides God?
I hoped;
And find,
Till he/she is met this feeling may end.